Hot & Sweaty: P.O.C.’s Desert Viper

It’s not often I manage to score an action figure at a grocery store.  However, that was the situation I found myself in on a recent trip to Kroger’s.  After snatching up the usual supplies of toddler snacks, toddler meals, and generally all things “toddler” I happened to notice some figures stuck amongst the Hot Wheels and whatnot that normally populate the grocery’s small selection of toys.

Mostly it was high priced garbage, but within the pegs of DCUC Cyborg and those god-awful Spider-Man figures was a gem of badassery.  This review is for the Desert Viper from Hasbro‘s G.I. Joe Pursuit of Cobra.  Granted, Dusty, Zartan, and many other spectacular figures make up the coming waves; but, this is the first figure from the Desert series that I’ve seen. While he’s just a hodgepodge of previously released parts, he manages to retain a pile of awesome all on his own.

COBRA’s legions are varied to say the least, from scuba diving Eels to garishly painted Alley Vipers.  The Desert Viper takes a very realistic approach to both design and color-scheme. For once that stupid movie is good for something.

He’s outfitted with the usual movie-style Viper helmet.  It’s matte black with a gloss black coating over his lens.  The helmet is encircled by a bandanna that matches the texture of his sweater.  He is also packaged with some nice Oakley-style goggles that fit the head very well.

His military sweater is covered by a black and tan LBH with Molle attachments. (If you don’t know what that is…well, this IS the internet.  Look it  He has a separate drop-leg holster that fits (sort of) securely around his waist and holds his pistol.  His arms have sculpted armor plates with the COBRA logo emblazoned on them.  His gloves/gauntlets are a grayish color and feature the dry brushing effect that covers most of the figure to make him appear dusty.

This figure uses the same exact articulation model that we’ve seen since the 25th anniversary figures. It’s pretty much perfect for the 3 3/4″ scale.

As you can see, they kinda tossed a few odds n’ ends into his blister. You can never have too many weapons though, AND it makes him seem more worthy of the purchase.  Here’s a quick rundown of all the deadliness packed within:

Knife – Not just a plain ol’ knife, no sir. This has a large flat blade reminiscent of the one used by Rambo in his latest movie.

Fire Axe(s) – He comes with two of these because… sometimes you have to chop things and one axe just isn’t enough.

Backpack – It’s a basic black reissue. The cool aspect is that it has a slot on one side that allows a fire axe to be held.

Goggles – As previously mentioned, these look a lot like Oakley goggles and fit very snug on the Viper’s helmet.

Battle Rifle – Looks to be the same one that previously came with R.O.C. Zartan.  It is way too bulky and the figure can’t really carry it correctly.  I would have much preferred that he come with a real world Ak-47.  However, I guess the ridiculousness of the movie had to work it’s way in somehow.

Pistol – His pistol is also one of those weird “concussive” versions from the movie.  Not so weird though when you consider that all through the 80s they were using laser guns.

Hooked Pole – Not sure if this is for firefighting or snake handling, but he’s got a big-ass hooked pole.

Snake-Eyes Sword – This is my favorite accessory by far!  This is the sword that Snake-Eyes comes with in one of the 25th anniversary box sets.  It’s a pretty wicked looking blade and features the arishakage symbol sculpted at the base along with an “S” shaped like a snake.  The sword looks sweet and makes a nice addition to Paris Pursuit Snake-Eyes (The only other movie-base figure I own).

All in all, the Desert Viper makes a nice troop and he looks good in the dirt.  That’s about it really.  He comes with a ton of random shit and isn’t painted in crazy colors.  I bought him out of being bored.  Don’t judge me!  Next time you’re in a grocery store and see a new figure, let’s see how long YOU can resist.


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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I like the outdoor photographs. I’m surprised there’s no photograph of “toddler” something 🙂

  2. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse has no place on here! You hear that Disney, “You’re not welcome!…til you make some cool action figures.”

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