Evil as Evil Lyn does

*Yet another sweet review from Duke Novelty Nostalgia of Toy A Day. – Lemonjuice McGee

Evelyn Powers was a female human astronaut from earth that ended up on Eternia.  That version of the character got upgraded to Evelyn Morgan Powers – gothic chick from Zalesia, with a totally bad ass kick ass attitude, whose father has no face and whose weapon of choice is a ball on a stick?  Hmm… I wonder what Freud would say to that?

There have been four different versions of the toy for this wench.  I’m sure it’s just a case of boys being boys and digging naughty chicks.  Today we are going to look at the second incarnation of the bad girl – Evil Lyn from the Millennium line.  Even within that line she comes with two different flavors.  No, not flavors that you can lick – I don’t think she’s designed to be licked, although if that floats your boat, well, who am I to say anything?  Anyways, two flavors – a red card and a green card.  The contents are the same, it’s just that the packaging is different… and I said packaging, not package!  She comes with a short sharp poker (aka dagger) and a thin long wand with a blue ball (OK, bluish purple ball) on its end.  Don’t ask me why there’s only one.  Perhaps it’s a sign that she’s emasculated one and uses it as her trophy.  Or perhaps it’s her way of reminding her foes to grow a pair.  Who knows?

The figure itself is highly suggestive.  She’s got enough mascara to put a cross-dressing trannie to shame.  And notice the front part of her skirt?  There seems to be a long pointy thing starting at her groin and pointing downwards.  Hmm… I guess this should come with the warning “There be dragons!” or more accurately, “This be a dyke!”.  Or maybe not.  I guess the goth attire real role is misdirection.  And why would anyone want to use white piping to accentuate their boobs?  Really, this costume seems to be made from leftover material and could possibly be a reject from Project Runway.

Who does Lyn hang out with?  She supposedly once was in love with “bone face” although I’m going to guess she was more in love with a bone in her face.  She also hangs out with a hairy man of a beast who wields a whip, some three-eyed guy who is the worlds biggest peeping tom, a wet fish, and some guy with interchangeable body parts.  I wonder what kinky adventures they end up with on their game nights.  Yeah, that little dude’s expression in the picture above echoes my sentiments exactly.

All right, let’s do the Toy a Day thing where I compare stuff.  Boobs on new chick = smaller.  Butt on new chick = smaller.  Thighs on new chick = smaller.  Cleavage on new chick = less.  Amount of legs shown on new chick = less.  Stick on new chick = longer.  Hmm…  Pointy things on hat of new chick = pointier.  Wowzers!  I’ll leave you to make your own conclusions. And I’m outta my southern comfort. Time to head out of the boxcar to rummage for a bottle or two of liquid gold. I’ll leave you guys with some graphic detail of what someone with a long appendage can do to this chick.


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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Nice review! I think you’re really getting into the “loose language” structure I have going on here. 🙂

    • Well, one of the reason I’m posting this here on your blog instead of on mine. Which reminds me, I’ve got to link back to my blog. It definately helps pretending to be drunk.

      • I added a link in the note at the top of your review. Gotta give credit where credit is due…

  2. Haha, funny review. I dig it.

    • Thanks! I had fun writing it.

  3. Haha another great review, my man. Good stuff! I am loving the loose Hobotastic style! I’m really looking forward to you getting confused and using the wrong styles on the wrong sites!

    • It’s not that easy to get the styles confused. Hobotastic has a very unique writings style (and I love making references to sex almost every other sentence), whereas Is it Fun is just the same as Toy a Day, but focused on fun. It’s good to be able to switch styles every so often, and this is the one reason why *this* Evil Lyn review is here instead of anywhere else.

  4. Must…have her! Come on, either buy a SOTA Charmed figure and make a super-articulated Lyn or send me this figure so I can do it, think of all the dirty pictures we could take! 😀

    • What’s a SOTA Charmed figure and where can I get one?!?

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