MOTUC Mer-Man: If It Smells Like Fish…

…and tastes like fish, then it’s probably fish.  If not, well…you might wanna keep that mouth of yours off it!

With that tip, let’s dive (I swear I’m not doing puns on purpose!) right in to this review for Mer-man from Mattel‘s Masters of the Universe Classics.  The re-issue baby!

First off, let me tell you a little secret: I’ve never liked Mer-man.  Nope.  Not one damn bit.  He just never interested me as a kid. Sure, I owned him and He-man repeatedly whipped the dogshit outta him; but, he was never much of an intimidating villain in my young eyes.  The 200X cartoon didn’t help matters either.  Mer-man’s voice sounded like he was gargling a mouth full of piss, and there’s definitely nothing cool about that…unless that’s what you’re into, you sick bastards!

However, all that said I really want to get a larger collection of MOTUC figures to keep displayed (cause nothing gets you laid more than action figure collections) so I ordered this fishy-warrior when he was recently re-released on mattycollector.

Mer-man arrived without being in the usual white mailer box.  Come to find out (thanks to Novelty), he was sans box the first go-around too.  His package was incredibly dusty, and the corners were extremely bent.  Luckily, I was opening this guy, otherwise my rage would have burst forth on the form of molotov cocktails and bare-knuckled brawls.  This leads me to believe that he has been sitting in a warehouse since the first time he was offered.  Were the sellouts a lie? Conspiracy!

He has the same ol’ articulation that all the other MOTUC figures have: ball-jointed neck, a nice ab-crunch, rock ankles, yadda, yadda.

The paint on Mer-man though is surprisingly awesome!  Through the haze of cheap gin I could still make out the nice faded effect of yellow to orange on his gloves and shin-guard-things.  The dark green of his body is shaded with light airbrushing, and the armor…oh the armor, it looks fantastic; but, we’ll get into all that soon enough.

The nice little addition to the sculpt is found around Mer-man’s neck.  A piece has been added to give the appearance of gills.

Fish-face here came with a lot of accessories.  What’s that? You want me to explain each and every one of them in great detail?  Well, you can get that outta yer head right now and go suck on a piece of ol….. okay, fine. Here they are:

Trident – No, not the gum. (Although if toys were packaged with candy, that would be a nice selling point.) This is Mer-man’s staff of choice.  It’s taller than the overall figure and features some nice detailing on the “bone” trident. I especially like how it was sculpted to purposefully be asymmetrical in order to give it that organic look.  There’s a blue jewel in the middle of the fork that matches the one in the center of his armor’s belt.

Corn Coral Sword – Mer-man’s blade looks very vicious.  Sure it kinda resembles corn-on-the-cob, but let’s face it, what DOESN’T resemble corn every once in a while?!  The spikes up and down the blade give it the appearance of being able to hack and saw through a body when he strikes.  Mighty fine, you gill-breathing freak!

Scaled Armor – His armor looks just as spiky as his sword…and would most likely be a bitch to wear without constantly scratching yourself or snagging it on things.  I can just imagine Mer-man caught up in Evil-Lyn‘s drapes as he tries to peep in on her late at night.  Oh the hi-jinks that would ensue!…but I digress.  The armor has the same organic feel as the rest of his accessories.  It’s painted with the muted orange and yellow fade, with a darker orange (almost brown) wash to bring out the details. Details like the bowtie that Mer-man likes to sport above his crotch for some strange reason.  The sword can be held on his back from the makeshift scabbard.  Very convenient seeing as how Mer-man can’t hold both of his weapons thanks to his left hand being sculpted wide-ass open.

Vintage Art/200X Head –  Back in the 80’s people were a little… well, let’s just say that they sculpted Mer-man with fur, okay? Fur? I shit you not.  Even though his appearance in artwork and the original cartoon did NOT.  Suffice to say, the 200 cartoon didn’t feature the original figure’s head either.  The original’s head was later used for Stinkor, who is, by all accounts, a furry skunk!…not a fish/amphibian/whiny punching bag.  Graciously the Horsemen have sculpted the “correct” head for Mer-man and it is included with the figure.  Of course, now that 80’s nostalgia and cough syrup have taken their hold I only keep the “skunk” head on him.  Probably due to those awesome beady eyes!

I’m glad to have another lackey that Skeletor can boss around, and another ass for He-man to trounce.  Mer-man has manged to win me over with his all-around nice sculpt and spot-on paint job.  I recommend him to all MOTU fans, and to all you people that just want to own a crazy-ass figure.


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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Nice review of a nice character.. I have no idea what was up with the dusty packaging, and I doubt we’ll ever hear an official answer as they’d prefer to just sweep it under the rug, or blame it on volcanic ash, or something like that. Hehe

    • Well there is a lot of lava and whatnot around Snake Mountain…maybe that’s where Digital River is based.

  2. I was very excited to get this figure, and he is awesome. I just think his colors are incredible (which is one reason I really wanted the original as a kid), and when I saw that green and yellow when I pulled him out of the package a wonderful wave of nostalgia washed over me.
    I was especially excited to be getting a head that matches the artwork, but like you I’ve found that I keep the 80’s head on him. Mostly because, as you pointed out, the eyes on the old head are great while the eyes on the new head make him look like he was dropped on his head as a baby, and probably drools, and didn’t make A’s in his math classes.

    • LOL. The eyes on the extra head are HUGE! He’s like one of those sad kittens you see on posters.

  3. I actually saw this figure in the shops that Ewan recommended. It was nice seeing MotUC on the shelves again.

    Oh and you better not have too much fun with the corn sword LJ. I know you give the word corn hole a whole different meaning 🙂

    • Yeah, yeah, *in a high-pitched voice, full of sarcasm* “I’m Novelty and I go on toy hunting expeditions all over the world!” 🙂

      • LOL. Well, thanks to the internet, you do know you can be all over the world 🙂 Heck, since you gave me my own boxcar, I thought I might as well put it to good use 😉

  4. Hey, I know that He-Man! Great review, dude.

    • Thanks! Yep, that He-man has gotten

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