Ram Man’s Hobotastic Journey

Hey everyone! Wes GRogan here from Is It Fun?, slumming it once again (Thanks to the ol’ Blog Mash Bash!) with Lemonjuice McGee’s Antiques Road Show. What? What do you mean it’s not an antiques show? Boxcars? What the hell would I want a box car?

<15 minutes later>

Uhm… so I’ve been told that this is supposed to be a review rather than a swap meet, but all I have is this Ram Man from the original run of Masters of the Universe, so you’re just going to have to settle for that, darn it all.  I picked this guy up from the fantastic toy site, Dinosaur Toy Vault, and got him for a song. Which song you’ll never know, but it was a good one with a catchy beat and a nice bass line.

As you can tell, it’s been a hard road for ol’ Rammy. A Wonderful Life, not so much. Ram Man was one of the more unique figures of the Masters of the Universe proper. Hordak had some pretty unique baddies, but Ram Man was all Eternia, all the time. His basic concept was that he could crouch down, the launch himself at something and bash it with his head. I’m guessing he bought stock in Aleve. I normally would break this down into a head, chest, arms, and legs review, but his head and chest are all one piece with no neck at all, so I’m just gonna go that way. Bear with me. I think it’ll work. If not, just have another shot of cheap liquor and remember the days of making out with rats late at night when no one was looking. I won’t judge you.

I’m thinking that Ram Man came out of Man-At-Arms Freak Factory, but I could be wrong. I can’t imagine he would volunteer for the job of bashing his head into things repeatedly, but I’ve been wrong before. Sometimes you shouldn’t underestimate the terminally dumb. He actually has a lot of detail on his sculpt, with the armored helmet around his head, chains running down to his jerkin, and giant shoulder pads that most of the 80s would have envied. His jerkin is red, with little laces and a leather skirt running around the base, tied down with a silver belt with the cutest little skull on it. It couldn’t be cute if it were a kitten, seriously. It’s that cute!  There’s nothing really unique on his back.. just the 1982 copyright date and some more wear and tear. His paint job has definitely seen better days. He’s been ramming so much that there’s a lot of red showing through his silver paint, and you can tell just where hands were holding him. His nose also is a bit bashed in, rubbing the paint off and leaving the world’s worst blackhead in its place. The eyes are still well done, though.

His arms… HAHAHAHA! Seriously, these arms are really, really bad. They’re lumpy, misshapen bits of plastic tenuously attached to the shoulders. And that’s when he was new!  Instead of swivel shoulders, he has swivel biceps, which means he can only rotate his arms unnaturally. He does have a little hole drilled into his right hand for what I believe was at one time a hammer, but eh. Who cares. Not like he could swing it at anyone! Both arms have little bracers sculpted on, but they’re not painted differently, so they end up looking like strange, symmetrical tumors. Reminds me of ol’ Ham Hands Bobby. Poor guy.

His legs.. well.. don’t work like they used to. When I was a kid, he had a great action feature where he’d really bounce up once you pressed down the lever in his foot. Now, it just barely elevates him. He can stand up tall or short, sure, but he’s not doing much bouncing anymore. Or ramming, for that matter. The legs are sculpted bands of green, over giant clod-hopper black boots. There’s no articulation, meaning that he has TWO points of articulation, both at his biceps of all places.  And those are terrible. This must be made my McFarlane!

Despite his rather.. unique appearance, this figure really blows chunks. He stands better than any other figure in the line, but that’s because he doesn’t freaking move. He also weighs next to nothing as he’s entirely hollow, including his cheap, flimsy arms. Whoever had him took pretty good care of him as he’s in great shape overall, but that can’t fix the figure himself. I owned him as a child and played with him plenty, so there much be some fun factor there, but he just hasn’t aged all that well at all. I’m still nervous about how he’s going to come out if Mattel manages to get to him in the Classics line. Especially given their “no action feature” stance. Swappable legs? Heh.


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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. LJ doesn’t do it with rats. It’s stray dogs these days and maybe an occassional sheep, if he can get one, when he is in one of those moods for mutton…

    I like your writing style here better than at IIF, eventhough it’s more or less the same. I guess Hobotastic just brings out the animal inside you 🙂

  2. Nice review Wes! I’ve seen Ram-Man around at the local flea markets, but I just can’t bring myself to buy that poor bastard.

    • Haha, unless he were thrown in, I don’t know that I’d bother. I owned him before and wanted to have him back in my collection, so that was my justification, but he was definitely one of the bastards of the MOTU collection. Glad you liked the review, though. Figured I’d give you a surprise! Hehe

      • Reviews are always welcome from you, man!

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