M.U. Iron Man: To The Extremis!

Anthony Stark is a lover of women…many women.  He’s bagged every chick from Black Widow to She-Hulk.  I doubt he’s a stranger to venereal disease, so having the Extremis virus musta been a nice change of pace from chlamydia.  It also scored him a sweet-ass set of armor, and this figure from Hasbro‘s Marvel Universe line fully represents it.  That’s right, this is the review for Iron Man: Extremis Armor.

I have to admit, that for all the bad-assery that was Iron Man II, this is the armor that I was really wanting to have.  You see, I’m an avid pornography comic book reader and Invincible Iron Man is one of the few mainstream books that I purchase.  Therefore this is the armor that’s been burned into my brain since Civil War…and has since been replaced in the last month.  The Extremis armor is actually part of Tony himself.  I’m way too full of grain alcohol right now to get into details, but Tony IS the suit…and that, my friends, is rad.  You wanna know what else is rad?! Well good, cause I’m gonna tell you!  While Iron Man shares the same articulation as all other Marvel universe figures before him, he does have one spectacular surprise up his armored-sleeve.  His neck is on a swivel/hinge joint instead of the usual ball and socket joint!  Suck on that all you other Marvel toys!  This means Iron Man can actually look up without his head popping off.  Very f’n convenient when it comes time to take to the skies…or look up an unsuspecting skirt.

The sculpt is a very good representation of the comics.  Adi Granov designed this suit and you can tell with it’s slick lines.  I especially dig the “toes” on the boots.  Sure, they’re there for traction or whatever, but they remind me of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… in a good way.  I only have two gripes on this one, which isn’t too bad.  First, the hands (while detailed well) seem a tad too small.  Second, his thighs are huge!  They remind me of Jackie, the morbidly-obese-diabetic-coma-prone-gutterslut…and that’s NEVER a good thing.  I think I just vomited in my mouth a little.  There are LOTS of good things about this sculpt though: the mask is perfect, the uni-beam is raised off the chest, the hand repulsors are even sculpted on the hand that’s forming a fist, the shoulder pads are just the right size to both mimic the comic look AND hide the shoulder joint.

I’ll give credit to Hasbro for at least attempting to make it seem like you get a lot of accessories with your figures.  Of course, they never tend to pack out the M.U. guys like they do with their G.I. Joes.  Iron Man’s extras seem like a bunch of nothing, but here’s what they are:

Figure Stand: A black stand with the Marvel logo cut into it, pegs for feet, and Iron man’s name and figure number.  It’s the same as all of the figures this year have had so far, and it’ll end up in a box with the rest of them.

Repulsor Blast Effect: the same shitty wrist attachment that has come with every single damn Iron man figure to date.  Crap!  I would have much rather had one of the blast effects that were released with the Iron Man II Comic Series figures.  It’s like he’s shooting a semi-transparent ice cream cone out of his hand…

Figure Card:  One side features Iron Man by Mike Deodato, while the other lists Iron Man’s stats. It also features Tony Starks fingerprint.  However, something tells me that it’s not the real thing…

S.H.I.E.L.D. H.A.M.M.E.R. File:  I like these little papers.  They tend to give insights into the “play pattern” for the figure kinda like the old Joe file cards used to do.  I think kids would really like this aspect of the toys.  Myself, I would have preferred it to be some lewd surveillance photos of Tony laying it to She-Hulk, simply out of curiosity’s sake.

The paint on Iron Man is really well done for the standards of the line.  He uses a much darker red than the movie figures.  It’s metallic, just like the gold used elsewhere, and has a nice sheen to it.  The repulsors on the hands, feet, and chest have all been painted as far as I can tell.  Where this figure really pops is the application of a black wash.  It brings out all of the sculptural details and gives it a definite comic vibe.  There’s no real slop on the figure I bought, but it did seem like metallic red was faded somewhat on his forearms.  It’s not noticeable though, so no worries there.

Yep, Iron Man is an all around good figure and I’d recommend him to any fans of the Marvel Universe series of figure and/or the comic series.  If you’re more into the movie look, this guy probably isn’t for you.  That’d make him sad, but luckily he’s got plenty of women to pony up the sympathy sex.


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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Great review, Lemonjuice. Love your writing. I should try getting some grain alcohol in my system too to act as my muse…;P

    • Thanks Ewan! You don’t need the alcohol…perhaps some PCP, or model airplane glue? 🙂

  2. Like your style too Lemonjuice, a breath of fresh alcohol tainted air in a normally sanitised PG world 🙂

    • Thanks! I figure there’s just no need to be restrained…or sober on this site. Hopefully, we’re all adults here, albeit adults that are talking about toys.lol

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