King of the Losers! a.k.a. The Winner!

Wow…just, wow! You guys are really willing to do just about anything to get a little taste of action figure goodness.  It was really hard to judge the best entry; but alas, only one of you could take home the prize(s), cause I’m way too cheap to be mailing toys all over god’s green earth!  Here’s a quick pic and click “more” below to see the list of figures, the winning entry, and all the other razza-ma-tazz…

Yep, that picture sure is blurry, but then again, my vision is ALWAYS like that!  Here’s the list of the figures in the above pic:

Justice League of America Batman, M.U. Iron Man, Paris Pursuit Snake-Eyes, M.U. Daredevil, DCUC Lex Luthor, DCUC Iron, DCUC Dr. Midnite, DCUC Robotman, Marvel Zombies Spiderman, ARAH Stormshadow V.2, Marvel Legends Daredevil, Vintage Collection Bespin Luke Skywalker, L.C.B.H. Witchblade, Resolute Duke, Marvel Legends Mister Fantastic, Blackest Night Kryb, L.C.B.H. Judge Dredd, Marvel legends Bradstreet Punisher, L.C.B.H. Panda & Clownface, Wal-Mart exclusive Mark VI Iron Man, Diamond Select Mark VI Iron Man, Neca Perseus, DC Direct Comedian, City Strike Snake-Eyes, M.U. Bucky, M.U. Moon Knight, ARAH Red Ninja, & Red Spartan-some-such-thing

Hobo-Toys Trapjaw is in amongst the riffraff as well.

Last, but certainly not least is the original piece of comic art of the winner’s choosing.  Looks like it’s gonna be a pin-up of He-Man VS. Skeletor!

Who’s the (un)lucky person to win such things you ask? Why, it’s none other than the criminally-minded soul that wrote this entry:

When I was a kid (probably too old for toys but still enjoying them), my mother was friends with a woman who lived down the road a ways. This woman had two sons that I absolutely hated and were a couple years younger than myself. The family had money, but the damn kids were so dirty and rocked mullets like you wouldn’t believe, so I hated being stuck with them for a few hours while our moms would chat.

Anyway, they had two of the original Megazords, and I’d never gotten one (much to my chagrin), so I did what any self-respecting mullet-hating 10 year old would do, I managed to steal one of their Megazords one piece at a time. One week I’d take a leg, stuff it into my backpack, pants, or pockets, whatever was most convenient at the time. They’d never notice a single piece missing from a dismantled Megazord. Then the next week I’d take an arm, despite their increasing suspicion and confusion.

Before you knew it, I was kicking Optimus Prime’s ass with my very own, stolen, Megazord.

It’s amazing what a little hatred, ingenuity, and a pair of mullets can get you in this world.

I chose this entry for a number of reasons. First, it was well written.  That’s always a plus when you’re drunkenly reading stories of other people’s adventures.  Second, it’s pretty devious and brave to steal from the same people over and over and over until you construct a toy. Somehow it’s just very Shawshank Redemption-esque… Lastly, it involved mullets. Sometimes it’s the little things…

So there you have it, your King of the Bastards: TAO!

A big thanks go out to all you guys that entered and commented. I really appreciate the support for the site, even though you fucks were just out looking to get some free shit!

Comment below and give TAO his congrats…ya buncha sore losers. 🙂


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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Well played, TAO, and congrats on the win!

  2. Hey! Those toys aren’t CRAP! Now I’m mad that I didn’t win! RAWR!

    *kicks over a hobo-table*

    *steals a hobo-hotdog*

    *frays your hobo-curtains*

    • “Hey, quit tearin’ up the curtains! Your Mom gave me those!”

  3. Total coolness. Congrats.

  4. Thanks guys. This just adds another layer to the guilt of stealing a toy in the first place.

    Awesome contest, LM.

    • Thanks, there may be another fun contest coming down the pike as a co-site thing between and myself…you guys’ll just have to wait and find out when and

      Congrats again. 🙂

  5. Perhaps TAO can run another contest to give away some of those (not crap at all) toys! Spreading the love!

  6. Congrats!

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