Lock & Load: Army of Two’s Salem

I’ll freely admit that I’ve never played Army Of  TWO, or it’s sequel.  However, that didn’t stop me from dropping some sweat-stained dollars on this figure of Salem.  He comes courtesy of Neca‘s Player Select line of figures, and is pretty f’n amazing…except for the lack of leg articulation.  I’ve had absolutely no sleep and my blood-alcohol rating is well below my preferred rating, so be prepared for more pictures than words on this one…

I snatched this guy up at Toys R’ Us for the low, low price of 6 measly bucks.  While costing more than a cheap bottle of vodka, he still clocked in under a carton of smokes.  Being somewhat of a rabid fan of modern military combat gear, tattoos, and blood soaked bandages, I was stoked about finding him on the shelf.

Salem comes with his “tools of the trade” in the form of a Beretta 9mm pistol, a CQB version of the H&K G-36 machine gun, and finally an AK Dragunov sniper rifle for those long distance kills.  Each weapon is constructed from a hard plastic, unlike most weapons these days (I’m lookin’ at you Mattel!) and are painted with a drybrush effect to bring out the details.  there are also holes in the sides of the rifles where you can attach pegs to hook the weapons onto Salem’s back when he’s not carrying them.  I’m assuming this is how it works in the game, but I really don’t have a damn clue about any of that nonsense.

The sculpt for this guy is phenomenal, as per Neca’s usually style.  Everything is highly detailed and almost all the different types of fabric have their own textures.  Geez, this guy probably has the most realistically detailed blue jeans ever brought forth in the history of action figures.  As you can see by the above pic, Salem’s mask can be pushed up to reveal his face. Well, even the backside of the mask (which you can hardly see) is given it’s own rough texture!  All of his mix n’ match military gear is accurate down to the pins he has stuck all over the top of his MOLLE gear.

The paintjob on Salem is a lot less hit-and-miss than most Neca releases I’ve encountered.  This is probably due to having his various MOLLE pouches glued onto the figure as separate pieces after being painted.  The only real problems with slop are on his buttons, as the words on them seem to have been stamped just a little off center.  This figure shows tons of drybrushing which works wonders in bringing out the details and gives his clothes a more worn appearance.  His tattoos leave something to be desired.  Neca has stamped the appropriate designs on his arms, but then figured that wiping some black wash over them would give the appearance of fill-in work.  Well Neca, you were sadly mistaken.  It’s almost enough to make me wanna bust into an unsuspecting crowd with a flurry of fists and broken teeth…almost.

Like I said way back in the first part of this review, there is no leg articulation…which blows.  Big time.  This guy comes sooo close to being a perfect action figure, but manages to fall short. Thanks Neca, for not going the extra mile…lazy bastards.  The articulation Salem DOES have works pretty well and consists of: ball-joint neck, ball-hinge shoulders, ball-hinge elbows, ball-joint wrists, swivel waist, & ball-joint ankles.

Oh, and scope out that fancy belt buckle!

There you have it.  Salem’s a cool looking figure that really does justice to the source material.  He’ll look like a smirking bad-ass when placed amongst your other toys, and would probably bang any females in the vicinity…if he could walk to them.  The poor, poor, bastard.

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Nice figure, shame about the stiff legs. I’ve not played the games, although I took the time to download the demos…


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