Barbarian + Space Pirate + Mercenary? Yes Please. : MOTUC Trapjaw

Mattel and The Four Horsemen enjoy when I nervously piss myself with uncontrolled excitement.  How else can they explain creating such a perfect representation of Trapjaw in their Masters of the Universe Classics line of figures?  Quality, you say?  Bah!  They obviously did it for the sole reason of making me feel superficially happy.  You can’t convince me otherwise, no matter how hard you try… that bottle of gin and handful of child aspirin have made up my mind already.  Now, let’s get into the review!

Once again I wasn’t fortunate to be near a computer on sale day at mattycollector.  This was especially aggravating since I had already missed getting a Trapjaw during his first release.  Thankfully, Novelty (of Toy A Day) once again came through and hooked me up with this metal-mouthed bandit… and also earned himself a stay of execution in the process.

Trapjaw’s sculpt is pretty damned amazing.  Without even taking my blurred vision into consideration, he is a notch above the other MOTUC figures that I own.  He just has so many newly sculpted parts and accessories that there’s just no question he’s a fan-favorite of the Horsemen and Mattel.  His head even features what’s left of his mangled face beneath the “trap-jaw”.    All the reviews I’ve read in the past were glowing with praise, but I chalked it up to nostalgia.  I was extremely wrong and shall lash myself with an old leather belt for penance.

Trapjaw features a LOT of accessories.  Not only are they plentiful, but each one is useful and cool. In fact, I’m gonna talk about each one separately AND with their own pictures:

A Big Ol’ Clamp:  This isn’t exactly as intimidating as I would have preferred, but it does hearken back to the vintage figure.  It features a hinge-joint that allows the clamp to open and close.  So now Trapjaw will be capable of copping a feel whenever Adora, Evil-Lyn, or yes even Skeletor walk by his table at the Eternian Tavern.  It’s constructed from the same rigid black plastic as the other accessories and his bionic arm, so no problems with matching up color-wise.

Wicked Pirate-y Hook:  This, to me, makes Trapjaw that much more of a badass space-pirate.  Coupled with the skull and crossbones design on his belt, Trapjaw is definitely giving off that vibe.  It’s a pretty simple accessory and attaches to his arm by a peg  just like the other arm attachments.  I imagine he’d mostly use this to discretely lift up the skirts of She-Ra, Teela, and Orko for some voyeuristic fun!

Laser Rifle:  This is Trapjaw’s main offensive weapon.  Shooting stuff just seems like a much better scenario than having to use a sword all the time.  It even has a scope attached for all those long range assassination attempts on Skeletor King Randor.  The rifle has an L-shaped bracket that lets Trapjaw hold it on one of the two loops sculpted on his belt.  The clamp and hook also feature this same bracket, allowing Trapjaw to carry his tools of the trade at all times.

Kronis’ Head and Arm:  With these 2 accessories, you essential have another figure.  Trapjaw (Kronis) was once a mercenary in Keldor‘s army, got too big for his britches and then scored an almighty ass-whuppin’ from Skeletor.  Well, now you can have yourself your very own Kronis.  I like this option seeing as how Trapjaw has always been portrayed as an idiot of inbred proportions, but Kronis seems like a crafty and cut-throat killer.  The head and arm attach securely and there doesn’t seem to be any real chance of them getting too loose or breaking anytime soon.

The paint on this figure really sets it off.  The Trapjaw head is painted a lot more precisely than I expected.  His skin is a sickly green (cause everyone knows that’s what happens when suffering forced jaw-removal) with a glossy red and black mess where his tongue resides.  Trapjaw’s eyes are yellow with those small “Mer-Man pupils” that make a character look crazy as hell.  Seems like his liver is working about as well as mine with those jaundiced eyeballs.  There’s no slop on the face and I actually had to look pretty closely in order to see if the helmet was painted or molded in the purple color.  Trapjaw features two different shades of blue.  One is metallic and highlights his robotic parts. The other is his original skin color.  It is shaded with some darker airbrushing on the chest and Kronis head to bring out the sculpt.  His belt is molded in green and has a metallic gold paint on the rivets and drybrushing across the skull logo.  All in all, it’s a great paintjob that I could go into even more detail about…but won’t.  Why?  Cause I don’t wanna!  Deal with it!

For the most part, TJ is blessed with the same articulation as the rest of his MOTUC brethren.  However, his jaw is actuated by hinges on each side of his face that allow for a very cool variety of looks, all the way from closed-jaw-crazy to…well, open-jaw-crazy.  All of the joints, on the figure I received, are in good working order.  For once, even the ankles aren’t a problem.  It might just be me, but it seeming like the villains in the series aren’t plagued with loose ankles nearly as often as their heroic counterparts.  Of course, this could just be the ramblings of a madman and hold no real weight with reality…

Did you notice something different with this review?  That’s right, I never once got truly angry, threw a bottle at a hooker, or even beat anything to near-death!  Huh, looks like Trapjaw has just earned himself my nomination for TOY OF THE YEAR.  You should definitely steal him outright buy him if/when you ever get the chance. You won’t be disappointed, MOTUC fan or not.

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Nice! My TJ should arrive tomorrow at which point I will thoroughly fondle him!

  2. Yay, stay of execution! I miss the talk about hookers and whores and you don’t seem yourself in the review above. Did you farm this review out to Mr. Stephens?

  3. Wish MY two hadn’t gone to my old f-ing address in Massachusetts. Grumble grumble…..


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