A Killer Born: P.O.C. Solid Snakeeeerrr… DUKE.

Have you ever found yourself bleeding profusely due to a face-full of scratches inflicted by a crazed streetwalker after she found out you were just a penniless hobo? No? Well, nevermind then.  I guess we can just talk about this new figure of Duke from Hasbro‘s G.I.JOE Pursuit of Cobra line of figures.

Read away, you buncha high-moral-ground-lovin’ bastards!

Thank God for off years! Normally we’d be seeing more movie or cartoon-based figures, but thanks to the production crews dragging their feet we get some of the BEST damn JOE figures in the history of the line.  With the sculptors having more reign to create what they want, we obviously benefit from their passion. What’s that? You think the original 80’s figures were the perfect versions? Well, that’s cause you’re livin’ in the past you nostalgic old hermit! Get with the times!  These Pursuit of COBRA figures have more accessories, more articulation, and far more nerd-erection-inducing sculpts.  Maybe if I hadn’t blown all my scratch on JOEs, I wouldn’t be…well, scratched.

Duke comes with a small arsenal that allows him to lead the JOE team into the toughest of situations, or into your backyard. Whichever. He’ll kick ass and take names in either environment.  Let’s list em off, shall we?

M249 Para:  That’s the big honkin’ machine gun you see to the right.  It’s also known as a SAW.  This sculpt is very accurate and shows the collapsible stock pushed all the way in to make the weapon shorter and more manageable.   An M-16 mag comes out of the side instead of the usual box mag, and actually can be removed from the weapon for realistic loading action.

Flashlight:  Honestly, if I have to tell you what this is, then you might wanna just quit reading and go put your head in an oven.  This one is black and matches the tactical look of modern weaponry.

Pistol:  No clue here.  It could be just about anything.  I kinda think it looks like 45 with a compensator on the end, but it’s almost too damn long.  It’s too small to be a Desert Eagle…perhaps a Baby Eagle. I dunno.  Think I’ll just sit here and strain Drain-O through a couple pieces of old toast and ponder it for a while…

Backpack:  It’s big, covered in an odd camo pattern, and attaches to the figure’s back by a peg.  Not much to it other than that, which is disappointing since Firefly’s backpack is able to actually hold weapons. [I’m a goddamn liar! Check the comments below to see why. – LJ]

M-4:  Duke’s basic assault rifle of choice is the M-4.  It’s made of the same matte black plastic as the rest of his weapons and is sculpted as realistically as possible.  An ACOG site sits atop the RIS handrails. It also features a front foregrip and a silencer. Sadly, the collapsible stock doesn’t move.

Figure Stand:  Standard Fare here.  Just a plastic rectangle with the JOE logo raised on top and Duke’s name printed on the front.  Can be used to stand the figure up, tile your kitchen floor, unclog a toilet, or even save a kitten form a tree. Yes, there’s no job to big for a figure stand!

Ranger Knife:  This knife fits securely into the sheath at Duke’s side.  It’s a pretty basic blade that looks as if it’d definitely get the job done; assuming the job is gutting an unsuspecting COBRA trooper.

Duke’s sculpt is a very nice mixture of everything G.I. JOE has been known for over the last few years, and his head…well, his head is very familiar for a different reason.  That bandanna screams Metal Gear, so getting a sort-of-Solid-Snake is the number one reason the store got all my whorin’ monies when I bought Duke.  A little brown paint in the hair and this guy is ready to smoke some cigarettes and head over to Outer Haven for a showdown with his clone! But I digress.  He’s wearing what appears to be a sleeveless version of the uniform from the movies, but this is covered by his “all business” LBE harness.  The harness is fittingly covered in mag pouches and even features a sheath for his knife.  Duke is sporting basic camo pants that aren’t tucked into his boots, regulations be damned!  A single kneepad is prominent on his left knee; but, one is all you need when crouching to mow down a platoon of terrorist soldiers.

These new P.O.C. figures feature as much (and in some cases MORE) articulation as other incarnations.  One thing that’s changed with this series is the reuse of the 1980’s “barbell crotch”.  Anyone familiar with the original A Real American Hero figures will know what I’m talkin’ about.  The rest of you will probably be reminded of Ol’ Barbell Crotch Johnson that worked Coney Island back in the late 60s.  Anyway, this joint gives the JOEs a lot of hip movement without having the unsightly ball-hinge joint.

Duke features: a ball-joint neck, ball/hinge shoulders, ball/hinge elbows, swivel wrists, ball-joint torso, ball-joint hips, double-hinge knees (a first for G.I. JOE), and ball/hinge ankles.

The paint on this figure…geez, “it is what it is”…I guess.  Sad to say, but you really can’t expect much anymore out of mass retail figures.  Sure there are exceptions, and the standard is still way higher than at any other time; but, there are still some slop issues that tend to get on my friggin’ nerves.  It’s cool that they wanna detail all of the sculpted parts, but when you’re making shit-tons of these, those little Asian kids are gonna get cramped up and the paintwork is gonna suffer.  The biggest show of this on Duke is on his harness. It’s just all around very sloppy work when you look at the figure up close.  The simple drybrushing they used on the chest would have worked just fine for my tastes on the rest of the paint apps.  I’ve also noticed a lot of this figure (mine included) tend to have large gaps of paint missing from the bandanna.  Not sure why this would be, but it’s prevalent in almost every single Duke that I’ve come across.  However, Hasbro picks back up some cool points with their use of paint splatter to make it look like Duke has been busting his ass in the muddy jungle.

Man, that was a lot of words considering I can barely see due to the blood pooling in my eyes.  Guess that’s the con of having my blood thinned from gallons upon gallons of nail polish remover…and then being soundly thrashed by a 78 pound lot lizard. Live and learn, my judgmental friends…live and learn.  Oh, and by all means, go and buy this figure as quickly as humanly possible. You won’t be disappointed.


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7 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Haha, awesome review, LJ! A laugh a minute as usual. I either want to buy duke or poison myself. And since I’ve already done the former…

    • Thanks Ewan! Might I recommend the bug spray for all you self-poisoning needs. Grab a couple JOEs during the process and you’ll actually believe you’re fighting alongside them… you poor delusional corpse.

  2. Excellent review. And, I do believe that there’s more to that backpack than meets the eye (wha…?). Look closlier at the inside of the pack, and you’ll find that the flashlight-looking objects fits in right below the back peg.

    • For real?! Let me check. Hang on a minute…… Holy Shitballs! You are correct sir! I don’t know how I missed that, well other than the usual reasons I breeze through life unaware. Thanks for the tip. Duke just keeps getting better and better…

  3. This is my favorite joe figure so far from the POC waves. The only thing I don’t like is the back pack, because when they just use a big hollow shell of plastic, it doesn’t look all that great when it is almost twice as wide as the figure.
    Actually, that’s not the only thing, I could not find a Duke that had both eyes looking in the same direction. So mine looks like he may have been clocked over the head a few too many times, but still dangerous.

  4. An awesome review and a sweet figure! Damn you, LJ! Don’t tempt me with Joe figures! I’m running out of cash as is!

    • I can’t help it! They’re like a powerful new drug, well more like a powerful new version of an old drug. You get the idea.

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