Punching & F***ing: Marvel Legends Punisher

[ Articulated Discussion is experiencing some technical difficulties at the moment, and Dr. Nightmare knows just how much we appreciate mass murderers around here; so, he sent over this sweet review.  Sorry for the lack of donkey-punching and heroin-fueled tirades that usually fill his writing on here. – Lemonjuice McGee ]

The Punisher
Nemesis Wave
Hasbro Marvel Legends

SCULPT:
This figure captures the hard, mean essence of Tim Bradstreet’s Punisher as seen on the covers of the Punisher MAX comics. Does anyone else see a splash of Asian in the face-sculpt though? Wait, am I supposed to say “Oriental”? Are you folks gonna lynch me now?

A figure like this is incorporated into a super-hero/villain line only once in a long while. What makes it so special? When was the last time you saw a Marvel Legends figure wear pants! How about boots, WITH LACES, so they don’t look like really big slippers? Hell, Punisher is wearing a real shirt! Not one of those skin-tight Abercrombie and Fitch things all the other heroes wear. Granted, pants and a shirt aren’t as cool as Moon Knight’s armor, but Frank gets by alright. By the way, the boots are laced-up differently. Whether this is great attention to detail or LACK of attention by the sculptor, I don’t know! But to give the benefit of the doubt, it’s common practice to lace your boots in different patterns to accommodate your foot. If the boot is too tight (maybe your feet got fat from walking all day), you can use a square-shaped pattern to create more space for your feet to expand.

I sold shoes and camping supplies for like 2 years, alright? Yeah, whatever, bite me!

There’s a texture carved into the clothes (corduroy is my guess) that makes them look distressed and comfortable, but I’m pretty sure if I dry-brushed brown over them the result would look something like wood-grain.

If you’ve read the previous reviews I posted covering Mattel’s wrestling figures, you’ll know I’m not crazy for saying the slight texture on the skin is a good thing. It diffuses light to reduce annoying glare. (skin shouldn’t be shiny! unless it’s wet, or covered in oil… mmmm, bacon grease…)

The hair has a weak, soft sculpt and I don’t like the head much overall, it even seems a tad small. The hands I like! Both weapons fit snugly into the palms and the index fingers slide into the trigger-guards.

PAINT:
“Sparse” is the word as usual with these Hasbro Legends, paint exists on the shoulders, facial-features (not the skin), neck (yes the skin), skull-pattern, laces, and straps. Seems like the pants might be painted too because the sculpt on the left thigh’s pocket looks like its been softened by too much paint, that and the boots are a different black tone than the pants. The sleeves are painted to match the dark, dark, almost-black-but-really-dark-green shirt, which means paint could potentially rub-off at the joints, but it’s holding up just fine so far.

Paint on the hair is immaculate, which looks less impressive than it should because of the bland hair-sculpt. I think the face could have looked much better with a proper paint-job, as in it could use the loving tender touch of a customizer, but that’s the case with most of Hasbro’s paint-thirsty figures.

ARTICULATION:
While the figure does sport most of the articulation ML-fans have come to appreciate (the super-cool fans at least 8) ), the lack of double-hinged elbows and semi-restricted movement of the hips limits the amount of throat-slashing, ass-whomping, crotch-smashing poses he can accomplish. It’s good enough for the average fan but a little disappointing for Punisher-fetishists fans like me. I’m glad I have this figure though (courtesy of everyone’s favorite murderous hobo, Lemonjuice McGee!), no collection is complete without Bradstreet’s signature design for our favorite anti-hero.

Oh, that sounded like a closing sentence, but I have more to write! Ol’ Frank is built mostly like a G.I. Joe, even the torso pivots in the same way! It can tilt side-to-side, front and back, and also swivel, for a large selection of natural poses to choose from. The swivel-wrists are alright but feel like they’re gonna tear-off sometimes because it’s a narrow joint.

It bugs me that Puns can’t drop to one knee without it looking awkward, and the swivel-hinge ankles that don’t rock side-to-side don’t help. Also wish the swivel-hinge elbows would bend farther for more natural gun-holding and neck-snapping. At least the swivel-hinge neck has great range, thanks to the short hair in back and having most of the area just behind the chin hollowed-out.

FUN:
I’ll always find a way to have fun with Punisher figures, though the fun from this one will be gotten mostly by way of photo-comics.

Guns! Where are the guns! Two guns isn’t an armory! Heh. RAWR! I’m happy that Hasbro included Frank’s lovable M60, BUT WHY MUST THEIR GUNS ALWAYS BE CAST IN SPARKLY PLASTIC!?!? STOP DOING THAT! Either paint the damn things or just leave them black or gray, don’t give us this fake My Little Pony crap. Are those sparkly ponies supposed to me made of metal?! NO! But that’s the message you send when you make glittery weapons like this! Or what, the guns are supposed to be made of sparkly fleshy horsey material? GRRRR. At least the sculpt on the weapons is sharp.

The pistol stores snugly in the flexible unpainted thigh-holster, which could stand to look less bland. I’d have preferred a knife anyway (or a machete, or a laser-chainsaw!).

VALUE:
You can score this Punisher for what it cost at retail, around ten bucks, which isn’t that bad. You get a piece of Punisher history, two useful weapons, and a big chunk of the BAF villain, Holocaust (Nemesis). It’s an arm-piece, but not that sissy normal-lookin’ right hand, it’s the spiky plasma-spewing one that looks like a mutant pineapple with chicken-pox! Fuck yeah!

As a ruggedly-handsome customizer and admirer of equally handsome men, I customized and created my ideal Punisher a long time ago. Even so, this Nemesis Wave Punisher has its own charm and finds a loving home on my shelf, nestled between Black Cat’s boobs.

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. LOL, I actually pulled this figure out of the bin to take a look when you mentioned the boot laces.

    I like this Punisher, tons. He could use more weapons, but at least he got a couple. The “camo” version is sweet, too!

  2. Nice review!

    They used this same body for the NIck Fury two-pack figure and the upcoming Winter Soldier figure. That’s a testament to how good it looks. Coulda used better hips though…damn hips!

  3. i still think the first ML punisher is the best one. this one looks ok though. nice review, dude.

    • True. Series 3 Punisher is still the king.

    • No argument there! 🙂

  4. Gosh, you sold me on those sexy pants, Nightmare. though I have to admit, I do so like your “ideal Punisher” custom.

    I’ve passed this figure up so many times, but if, like 3B, I do see him in some discount bin, I might take a second look now.

    Oh and I’ll be leading that lynch mob, though I think Oriental is worse than Asian in some circles. Ah who cares anyway. Lol.

    • LOL, I meant my storage bin.

      Although it would be funny had I actually stopped surfing the web, put my pants back on, and gone looking for the figure at Walmart just to see his laces. 😉

      • Yeah it’d be weird but would make for a great story to post, lol

    • So very sorry! xP


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