Scars N’ Spurs: DCUC Jonah Hex

Damn, I love Jonah Hex!  Not in a ” I wanna slip into him nice and slow as he sleeps” kinda way, but more of a “That is one badass killer and I admire the characters toughness” kinda way.  He’s my favorite figure out of DC Universe Classics Wave 16, and I highly suggest you man up and go buy him… since nothing says you’re a big, burly man like purchasing action figures!  Head over to MTV Geek! to check out the review:

DC Universe Jonah Hex Review


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11 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. What’s up with the eyes?!

    It’s just annoying at this point, but I’ll doubt we’ll get a straight answer from Matty, so…

    I agree he turned out to be the best figure in the wave, though.

    • Yeah, it’s gotten to where the best figures are ones without pupils. It really makes no sense. Luckily, it works for Hex since you can tilt his head forward and he looks like he’s peeking out from under his hat.

  2. I left his pistol in the holster and gave him Vigilante’s six-shooter which, despite looking too small on Vigilante, looks great on Hex. And it makes him more badass cuz he’s got even MORE guns. Are you allowed to post reviews here on your site anymore? If you can’t, I would be happy to chip in some of my own, in line with the raunchy and inappropriate style of yours that we all prefer…

    • I’m allowed to post what I went, when I want gawddammit! 🙂 I just honestly don’t have much time. If you’d like to post, I’d be more than happy for some guest reviews! That same invitation goes out to all of the regulars on here as well.

      Just email me with info:

    • Oh, and I totally forgot about Vigilante’s pistol. I’ll have to dig him out of the bin and rob it from his tiny, plastic clutches!

  3. A shame about not hosting this particular review in this fine establishment you’ve built, Mr. Stephens, I was very much looking forward to the obscenities and rude gestures usually found therein, which would have been assuredly exacerbated by the presence of such a demon of a man as Jonah Hex.

    To address your concise review, I am in agreement with most of your opinions on this work of mechanical craftmanship, it is amazing to consider the kind of contraptions men have invented in so short a time. Only 10 years past I would have ridiculed any who voiced such outlandish ideas as a machine which can melt plastic and create new men from the syrupy goo. On a related note, what is this “plastic” exactly? And why are men creating avatars of other men with it? Is this some kind of Indian witchcraft?

    Our views do differ on Jonah Hex’s facial features, I see too much of a Steve Dillon influence in that respect, I do not much care for his art. The man’s work is repetitive and grotesque, and not in a satisfying manner such as when making love to the pastor’s sweet and surly redheaded step-daughter.

    I am unaccustomed to trading correspondence with men of your caliber Mr. Stephens, and am glad to see your hectic lifestyle as a drunken gambling womanizer has not stolen the few minutes of leisure you have to respond to fans of your publications.

    -With love (not the Brokeback kind, mind you),
    Doc Nightmare

  4. I love the Jonah Hex figure, not only because of the great sculpt, very good paint apps, and acceptable articulation, but he comes with a unique mouth hole too!!!

    Westerns are my favorite genre of movies, and way up on my list of favorite comics (coincidentally though I’ve never read and Jonah Hex, if anyone knows a great TPB collection of his let me know). Anyway, he makes me sad that we don’t have any other cowboys or indians to play with. I had a couple of Lone Ranger toys as a kid, one was G.I. Joe side that was released at the same time as some Universal Monster figures, and one was my dad’s from when he was a kid.

    We need some well articulated cowboys (stikfas don’t count). The best cowboys and indians I had as a kid were kind of like green army men, though they were bigger and had horses, no articulation points, and I played the shit out of ’em. My dream would be for NECA to make some Gamer Select figures from Red Dead Redemption or something similar.

    • You sack of uncool illiteration! Go read all of the current Jonah Hex series! Most of the issues are a solid read and some have pretty powerful stuff.

      I don’t know much about the older series, I didn’t like the art much on the few I saw so it was hard to stay interested.

    • Indeed. Jonah Hex’ current series is the best! Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray knock it out of the park each month, plus most issues are stand-alone stories!

  5. I just watched the first ten minutes of the Jonah Hex movie, and it is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve seen in a long time. Right off the bat they ruin his origin, and gives him a super power ripped straight out of Hellboy. It pisses me off because I love comic books and westerns, and we could have had a really cool Jonah Hex movie that fit into both categories. However, because some dip-shit film makers had to go and make a shitty box-office bomb, no studio will ever take a chance on making another Jonah Hex film (that could possibly be great). They’ll naturally, and incorrectly, attribute the film’s lackluster performance to the character, and not the god awful script, acting, cinematography, or the fact that they took an established character and completely fucked him up.

    Sorry for the cursing. I usually try to keep it to a minimum, but I’m tired from driving over six hours to get home today, only to be rewarded by having this movie on my DVR.

    • Your bitching is justified. That movie is a pile of wretched waste and along with other comic characters I like (Punisher, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, etc.) has been added to the list of comic book films that have destroyed any chance of success for the characters in other media. Thanks again Hollywood! Dicks.

      Funny thing though, in the Vertigo hex series, he actually did have those stupid powers.

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