The End is Nigh…

…well, for this blog at any rate.

Due to my increasingly busy art schedule with Kidthulhu and the frequency of posts for MTV Geek!, I’ve managed to neglect this site for far too long. Time to put this poor, drunken, sonuvabitch out of it’s misery.

As I sharpen my Killin’ Axe, allow me to thank all of you for taking the time to make this blog such a success. All of the comments, guest reviews, and general views always made this thing worth doing. There were never any ads on here, and all of the reviews on this site were always done out of the love — or intense hatred of toys I purchased and wanted to share with the rest of you.

Lots of alliances have been made through this little site, and one day we shall create a super-team the likes of which will shake the very foundations of the Earth! bitch about toys together once again!

Thanks again for slumming it with me here at Lemonjuice McGee’s Hobotastic Toy Reviews.

Bastards.

Lemonjuice McGee a.k.a. Jason Stephens

 

Back from the Dead!… and Toy Fair.

My neglect for this little blog is now paramount to abuse!  Really, only 4 updates the entire month of February?! Cripes, I’ve been a lazy fuck!  Well, lazy in the way that I’ve been up to my ears in toy posts for MTV Geek thanks to the spectacle that was The 2011 American International Toy Fair!  Yep, I made the trek to New York City, interviewed and met a bunch of people, hung out at the MTV Geek offices, and avoided being robbed and/or molested.

Instead of making a post for each of the billion articles and video interviews, I’m just gonna put up a link list here to some of them.  A new review or two will be popping up on here exclusively as well in the next week, so stay tuned!  Hit the “More” tab for the link list pals-o-mine!

Jibber-Jabber for December 13th

So, I haven’t really been updating  jack-shit on here as of late. Other than links to my MTV Geek articles, this “Haven of the Distrusted” has been stuck on autopilot.  However, the general comments have been going strong with everything being discussed from taking sexy bubble baths with Hal Jordan to… well, there’s been a LOT of talk about bubble baths.

Anyway, today I’m just gonna ramble on about the various happenings in my seedy world of action figures and cockfighting.  You guys can then comment the living fuck out of the post, and together we’ll make the world a better place!

Lemonjuice: All GEEKed Out!

Well all my faithful layabouts and scalawags, I’ve started writing reviews, interviews, and random other whatnots for the new MTV Geek website.  Now you can get a double dose of Lemon-y goodness (although slightly less profane) from there. Here’s the link ya bastards!

MTV GEEK!

Don’t you worry, I’ll still be posting all the insanely filthy and violent reviews on here.

Lemon J’s Customizing Tips: Human Torch

You wanna know a secret?  Do ya?!  Well, too bad cause I’m gonna tell you anyway.  I am a toy customizing expert!  I create possibly the most realistic and accurate customs your stupid eyes have ever friggin’ seen!  Today, you lucky bastards are gonna get a step-by-step guide from yours truly on making an epic masterpiece.  We’re makin’ the Human Torch (of Marvel Comics fame) so sit back and get to learnin’ cause class is in session!

Who’s that? My friends, THAT is our victim base body.

POGS: The Most Dangerous Game

[ Nope, this isn’t a review. It IS however, a pretty hilarious piece about the uprising (and quick downfall) of POGS, by Articulated Discussion‘s own Dr. Nightmare.  Read it and laugh, and laugh, and vomit a little, and then laugh some more. – Lemonjuice McGee]

You know what the problem with kids is nowadays? Aside from their parents not being allowed to beat them anymore? They, and most of urban America (you pansies), have lost their competitive nature (unless they have a psycho football coach for a dad that secretly beats them at home with a broken bottle of hooch when they don’t win a game, of course). It leads to more fat kids, more sloths on the playground in the halls for us non-fat people to avoid while running around the track or to our next class because we’re NOT fucking lazy.

For a brief moment in the ’90s, pogs changed all that ass-laggery.

The Dragon Drank My Beer…

…and I’m pretty sure Faker snatched all the gin.

With these dastardly developments, I’ve not been updating regularly with my tyrannical nonsense about toys and the like.  Things will be back to normal soon, as I have just concocted a mixture of fermented saliva (that I forced from an albino prostitute) and good ol’ fashioned diesel fuel.  Give it a few days and the reviews (and delusions) shall commence once again!

King of the Losers! a.k.a. The Winner!

Wow…just, wow! You guys are really willing to do just about anything to get a little taste of action figure goodness.  It was really hard to judge the best entry; but alas, only one of you could take home the prize(s), cause I’m way too cheap to be mailing toys all over god’s green earth!  Here’s a quick pic and click “more” below to see the list of figures, the winning entry, and all the other razza-ma-tazz…

Welcome To Your Nightmare…Dr. Nightmare!

Dr. Nightmare (of Articulated Discussion and various action-figure-based-deviant-crimes fame) has sent us this funny, nostalgic, and surprisingly touching ode to our favorite toys.  Don’t worry guys, it still uses the term “sweaty cocks”. – Lemon J

My First Hobotastic Contest!

You like free shit?!  Of course you f’n do!  Well, unless you’re some kinda sucker!  In honor of…well…myself, I’ve decided to give away some (mostly) cool prizes to one lucky talented bastard reader.

Click “more” for the low-down on getting some free swag.